Regarding the Ceremony

About the Ceremony

When I sat down to plan the ceremony a while back, I found myself with Writer's Block, of all things.  Alison and I were not raised in any strong tradition, though we both have traditions that are meaningful to us.  We've each been to diverse and beautiful weddings between friends, each and every one different.  No one was dictating what we should do to make our bond and start our life together ...  I had a big, blank page in front of me.

I thought about what the ceremony is: it's Alison and I solemnizing the bond that we have, and committing to it.

I thought about who the ceremony is for: it's for us, but for us so that we can commit to each other before you.

I thought about where Alison and I place the authority for the act of our marriage: in each other as we work together but also in you, the family that has supported us and celebrated with us whenever there was need.

I found those conclusions echoed by the Quaker tradition, in my memory of Meetings  I attended nearly ten years ago and again as I read about modern ceremonies, and the ceremony began to come together.

We've incorporated two elements of traditional Quaker weddings today to recognize your role in our new life together: the quiet meeting and the wedding certificate.

In the midst of our ceremony, we have set a period of silence for us to stop speaking and to listen --literally or figuratively-- to you. 

And at the end of our ceremony, we invite you to sign our Certificate of Marriage, in witness to our commitment today.



Dress will be "semi-formal evening".  Suits for men and cocktail dresses for women are best, and we sincerely hope that Alison is the only woman in a wedding dress.

Young Guests

Because of issues with the venue as well as incidents at many weddings that we've been to in the past, we're asking guests to not bring young children.  If you're not sure where the cut-off is, just ask!